Sometimes people who foster children get a "bum-rap". In reality, most foster care providers offer a safe place for children in transition. These loving people open their homes and their hearts to a child in need. They do this knowing full well that they will have to face the pain and sorrow of loss when the child leaves to rejoin their family or move into a permanent home. These foster parents provide kids with a chance for a normal life.

Cheryl McFadden is one of these special people. Cheryl grew up in a close family. This sense of togetherness and family extended to their friends. If their friends had trouble at home they were always welcome at Cheryl's house. This "open door" policy led to a few kids actually moving in and living with them for short periods of time, even though this wasn't a foster home.

After Cheryl moved out on her own, her mom, Heather, moved in with her for a while (and later her sister, Candace, moved in too). With all of her children grown up, her mom had a lot of time on her hands and missed being a "mom". So she applied to be a foster parent. Cheryl enjoyed the experience so much, she thought, Why Not be a foster parent herself!

Since they already had one approved foster parent in the home (her mom), Cheryl was approved to do relief / respite work where she goes to other people's homes and relieves the foster parents for short periods of time.

Often foster parents face the challenge of caring for children who come into care with various special needs.

The first baby Cheryl, her mom, and sister cared for was ten months old. He was the child of a drug-addicted mother and an abusive father. Developmentally slow, possibly due to the lack of parental care, he was still completely on formula even though he already weighed thirty pounds. He actually did not know what to do with food! Cheryl gradually introduced him to food and eventually he grew to love it! By the time he left Cheryl's care he was thriving.

It was sad to see him leave, but it warmed her heart to know she'd made a difference. So when another child needed help, Cheryl and her family said, "Why Not!"

The second baby Cheryl brought home from the hospital when he was two weeks old. He was up for adoption so he hadn't been named yet. Cheryl chose the name, Daniel, after the biblical Daniel who was thrown to the lions and survived.

Daniel was both a miracle and a fighter. He had to be. Not only born addicted to cocaine, he developed meningitis and a bowel infection shortly after birth. Cheryl cared for him throughout his recovery.

Eventually the couple who had adopted Daniel's half brother and sister more than a decade ago adopted him too. Social services spent over four months searching for the siblings to give that family the first chance at adoption. The stay with Cheryl and her family made it possible for this family to get together.

"They're great parents," Cheryl says. She got to meet the mother and all of her fears disappeared when Daniel immediately fell asleep in his new mother's arms. The parents have kept in touch, sending Cheryl pictures and letters. Cheryl misses him terribly, but she knows that she provided him good care so that he could successfully join his siblings in a loving home.

Although knowing the pain of good-byes, Cheryl also knows she and her family have made a difference. They couldn't turn away when a five month old boy who had many medical problems needed care. He had to be hospitalized several times with bad asthma. His parents live in a community that is too far from the hospital for him to receive immediate help.

He was diagnosed with an attachment disorder. He would scream for hours for no apparent reason. He also became withdrawn at times. He lacked affection and even became abusive --hitting, kicking and scratching -- Cheryl and himself.

Cheryl helped him by using a technique called "holding therapy". She describes it as the following: "You hold the child very tight (sometimes this requires wrapping him in a blanket), keep eye contact and speak calmly and reassuringly to him, repeating the same phrase over and over. Eventually, the child realizes that you are not going to let go. Sometimes during this type of therapy, the child becomes angry. VERY angry. They are so mad, it's frightening. You have to persevere though. The child has no choice but to give in after a long fight and become sad and then affectionate. The idea behind this is you are giving the child permission to release their anger at their situation in a controlled environment and that no matter what they do, you will always love them and take care of them. It breaks down their defense mechanism and allows them to stop pushing people away for fear of rejection."

After several months many of his behavior problems became under control, and the therapy was no longer needed.

He's doing better and plans are in the works for him to return home since his family moved to a city that has a hospital in the immediate area. The reunion with his family will be a gradual phase-in approach to prevent an upset from a major change. The boy has been with Cheryl and her family for a year now and when he goes, she'll miss him terribly.

Sure, foster parenting can be a lot of work and sometimes even heartache, but if it can help one child reunite with their family or find a good home, Why Not!